Thank you for being part of my life, for supporting what I do, and I look forward to sharing treats for the next ten months as my way of saying kudos!
Although there is the occasional threat of Beiber Fever, it self-extinguishes pretty fast around here. There is a wee-bit of Katy Perry love, but it is moody and rare.
Mostly - It's about Sue, Helen and Sarah.
I can now sing along to every single Sue Pyper song. For almost six months Selah has been listening to an alternating rotation of of Sue Pyper and Sarah Hagen CDs, and in the car Helen Austin accompanies us.
Sue-Fever has hit it's pique, with Selah and Gabby bargaining over who get's which of her two CD's to listen to at nighttime.
The two things Selah put on her Santa List:
- Lava Lamp and a new Sue Pyper CD. That's all. Not quite as easy to fulfill as the year she wanted a quesadilla, but close.
The first I can do, the second, well, I don't think Sue can write and record a new CD in the next three weeks - although she is pretty fabulous.
We love to shop local in this family, we work hard to avoid the Beiber's, and we like to give gifts that don't end up in the children's junk drawer. If you are still trying to sort out some gift ideas check out our local musicians, they can always use our support, they are darn talented, and the cool thing is you can take your kids to see them live, and get some serious parent cred' without paying $79 for a ticket.
On the same track, we always look forward to Helen Austin, Judy Wing and Sue Pyper's Voices Three Concert. It is a fund-raiser for the Comox Valley Hospice Society and an absolutely fabulous night out, moving and hilarious. I scheduled my holiday around it.I also am very proud to be a sponsor of the event. You can purchase tickets at the Sid Williams Theatre.
I have the good fortune of having Helen, Sue, Judy and Sarah as clients and I should probably pull out some of the photos from their sessions to go along with this blog post, but I'm not much into should's today.
So, go get their CD and then you will have the photos yourselves.
You can find them at:
Helen Austin: http://www.helenaustin.com/music.html ,itunes, Bop City and Sound Advice.
Sue Pyper: www.suepyper.com Bop City and Sound Advice
Sarah Hagen: www.sarahhagen.com/buycd.htm, itunes, Sound Advice, Sushi Kobo and Silhouette Dance. in Vancouver at Sikora's Classical Record
Take that Bieber!
Thanks Karen for the Support! I love it that Selah loves the CD's - little people are so cool. (
(12.10.10 @ 11:24 AM)So for the next 8 days, I will scale back in work, eat many Latke dinners, and look forward to lighting the Menorah at sundown. When I do any worries I have will drift away and I will just be aware of my family, all the blessings we have and the love that surrounds us. Hanukkah is a celebration of hope, light and miracles - an important part of modern day life.
gasp!! amazing !!
(12.02.10 @ 08:56 PM)Karen - enjoy your celebration!
(12.03.10 @ 11:08 AM)The women in my family, myself, my two sisters, and my mom are notoriously independent - our ideal hubby would live next door 25% of the time (think about it, it could be great for marriages.)
And although I am a happy social bee, I need my time alone. So, having John gone didn't ruffle my feathers. The silver linings was clear to me as well, when he was home, he would be all ours. With the way John is that means when he is home I am free to put in some extra hours at work, focus on family time, or drink wine with friends - whatever I need. Sweet deal.
But, a few things have had to shift. I am finding it a bit harder than usual to make it to the gym, and the house is grungier than usual (John is the housecleaning saint in this family.) Plus, with this weather he hasn't always made it back from work as planned. That kind of ruffles my feathers. I miss him and we look forward to his Monday night welcome home (great motivator for getting the kids to clean,) plus I feel disappointed for him, as I knows he craves that moment of coming back to the people that miss him and the couch that is used to his presence. As well, this independent self-employed photographer, home with four kids, gets a bit stressed out when she gets some bonus days of single parenting.
However, considering the change, I would say we have adjusted well. I am happy, I love the romance of him coming home and I appreciate the hard work he is doing when away. I feel fortunate.
We are incredibly caught up here in the office (thanks Christine and Jen), and I feel I have had some beautiful family time with the kids lately - it's all in balance - except the blogging.... ahh.. the blogging....
Here is a sweet photo of Marilyn and Bernard, who scooped a session on a beautiful November day. My friend Jen had the nicest thing to say about it " I sure wish I had a photo of my grandparents like that." - I certainly agree.
After I took this photo, I walked over to them and Marilyn had tears in her eyes. It was a beautiful moment in their love story.
What a special energy coming from this picture! Blessed with such an amazing love after so many years. What a great example for all of us young couples!
(11.30.10 @ 09:32 AM)very true Amy, I left this session feeling very appreciative of John
(12.02.10 @ 09:06 AM)very true Amy, I left this session feeling very appreciative of John
(12.02.10 @ 09:06 AM)Now, there is the part of me, that hates that it frustrates me - that's the part of me that truly believes school isn't for everyone, that the way it is set up just can't work for some kids - I honestly stand by that and can argue that point very effectively.
Then, there is the part of me that puts high importance on accountability, following through on your commitments and on trying your best, just trying- and I just can't let that go. I'm a bit intense that way.
Whether my children want to be scholars, artists or travellers - those are values that will help them be successful in their choices. Having choices, and the power, resilience and confidence to follow their desires is high on my wishes for my children.
So child X, is sick yesterday, (which she swears has nothing to do with Halloween.) And to give you the background:
- for about five days I have been asking X to bring a note home from her teacher letting me know she is caught up. I have not got that note yet.
- X has not brought home work home in a long time
- I have in the recent past received a phone call from the teacher letting me know that X, who never seems to have homework, is missing almost all assignments
Yesterday, I tell X yesterday, she has a choice to go after school to get her teacher note or to go this morning. She chooses this morning. This morning comes, and she grumpily tells me she can't go - she is too sick. She has no fever, no runny nose, no cough, no bodily fluid escaping, no weird bumps, her color is good. We live a block from the school. I offer to make X some tea, to help her wake up - I am deep breathing, I am trying to be somewhat nurturing. She whines. She won't go.
I realize that discussion is futile and will result only in a fight - I deep breath, I refuse to engage in an argument about it.
So I am going to do it later today - I will take care of her responsibilities. In exchange for me needing to do her responsibilities, as soon as X is better, because X is obviously so sick she can't do it now, she is going to do some extra chores and help me with my responsibilities.
Meanwhile she is to stay in bed all day, other than trips to the loo or for lunch. When the schoolwork arrives X will be also will be ensuring she is caught up on every bit of school work before she has any other life.
Sometimes I am at a loss on how to deal with things, and sometimes I think every-flippin incident is a learning opportunity, which I am sure is sometimes (okay often) very annoying.
What would you have done? I am a mean, mean mom?
Yes you are... and that's ok... we all are. If we are to raise our kids to be responsible adults who add to the world then, yes we do (often) have to be big, big meanies!! There is a reason they are not classed as adults until they are 18, which means our job is to do what is necessary for them to get there with a set of standards that will ensure they are equipped to function well in life.
(11.03.10 @ 10:00 AM)Not only are you NOT mean, you are reasonable to a fault. I think that if this were happening in my house, all priveleges would be suspended until the responsibilities were back in order and an immediate trip to the school (assuming it's currently school time and not after hours) while overseeing the verbal exchange would be a likely outcome. I would insist on the child being accountable to the teacher for dishonesty and for avoidance of duties. I would expect the child (as you seem to also be doing) to remain on-task with all homework until completed. I would also follow up with a set timeframe of probation. But then again, I AM a mean mom...my kids remind me of that all the time. But I'm really okay with that. I don't need their approval of my parenting decisions so I don't get too disappointed when their approval is the last thing I'm getting from them! A bit of lip, you bet. Pouting? Definitely. I can handle all of that. Sounds like you have a pretty solid plan. You are in a tough spot with it all (given your incredible work ethic and that you pursue excellence in everything you do) and you are doing your best. ♥
(11.03.10 @ 10:01 AM)You are NOT a mean mom! The fact that you have spent so much time mulling things over before getting more firm with her means you are a nice and caring mom who doesn't want to infringe upon their natural development.
However, there is a time when a mom has to step up and growl. Bears do it, ergo, it's natural! You are looking out for her best interests, and she's probably stalling and trying to wiggle out of it so bad because she thinks you will take the bait because you are a NICE MOM :)
(11.03.10 @ 10:14 AM)You are an awesome meanie, keep up the good work!
You have no malicious intent, so you cannot be mean. You *could* be irresponsibly accommodating, but that would be lazy, and that's not you. Variation in IQ accounts for about 25% of the variation in highschool GPA, far more variation in grades, and in the ability to succeed at whatever it is that one wishes to succeed at is determined by Executive Control Skills, the ability to make oneself do when it is time to do, persevere when it is time to persevere, focus when it is time to focus, and switch when it is time to switch. These are skills we learn, hopefully that we even make a project of teaching ourselves. What you are teaching X is more important than the homework; a stitch in time saves nine.
(11.03.10 @ 10:14 AM)Oh the joys Karen. As I said to you in shoppers the other day, we were having the same fight. I think it is wrong to have to ask and ask if their homework is done. Do we assign the homework, no. Do we sit in the classroom and know what is going on completely in that classroom, no. Is it really our fight when our sons and daughters come to us and say treat me like an adult. Well guess what? That is exactly what we do. My X child is now after school everyday to 430, working on homework. there is way too many distractions here at home, especially a new puppy, so when she comes home from school she is relaxed and understanding her work and ready to have some down time. Check with the school if there is a homework club or something at lunch hour where she can go where it is quiet and nurturing. My X is in survival mode when she is at school, and god forbid her putting up her hand and asking for help, not going to happen. In the afterschool program there is 2 EA teachers and one teacher, so 3 that she can ask for help from. Going from a class of 30 some odd students to a huge room with maybe 6 kids in at a time, she is way more confident to ask for help. I have seen a transformation in X and it has only been less than 2 weeks, especially the fighting, the slamming of doors, and me having to do all the punishing. Also there is no comparing her homework to her Z sister, saying you have so much less. That was a biggie in our house as well. I think that we should start a support group for us mothers so we know we are not alone. I urge you to check with the school and if they dont have that program, then have the teacher suggest to you somewhere where she can go. They always have extra help or a quiet space for kids as all children learn so differently. I found that if the teacher is a textbook teacher my X does not do as well as when they are hands on and visually stimulated. I am the same way, the teacher makes all the difference. Karen you are a loving person and I agree that it is not easy, but I tell ya, I am so happy with my X now and want to be around her and we get along way better. Good luck Karen! xoxo
(11.03.10 @ 10:44 AM)
Thank you for being part of MY life. xo Beautiful shot Karen, nice boots ;)
(01.03.11 @ 09:53 AM)Beautiful photo Karen. The Valley is a better place with you in it! So glad to know you and call you my friend. xo
(01.03.11 @ 10:02 AM)Well put Karen. 2010 was a year of challenges for me. Your message totaly hit home for me. All the best in 2011! I love keeping up with your blog!
(01.03.11 @ 10:08 AM)Thanks Karen.
And thanks for living your life with gusto - as an inspiration to others.
Cheers
(01.03.11 @ 10:23 AM)Congratulation on ten years Karen. The Comox Valley is lucky to have you! Wishing you another great ten Years.
Greg
(01.03.11 @ 11:32 AM)thank you for being you. gorgeous image. fab boots. xoxo
(01.03.11 @ 01:36 PM)